SIT WITH IT

I was driving the other day and had a reflective moment that allowed me to look at my circumstances in the past and see how I reacted to them, compared to now. In the past, any time a problem arose, I would run and try to to fix whatever problem I had instead of allowing God to help me. For example, there was a time I was looking for an apartment after college, and I literally did not know how I was going to afford rent on my own. At the time I knew I wasn’t making enough with one job, so instead of trusting that God would provide, I went ahead of him and got a second job so I would feel secure. Little did I know that I would still end up with only having one job.

 Over the years, I learned two valuable lessons. One being I was putting my faith into my job for security and income instead of trusting that God is the ultimate provider. Two, if you never learn how to sit in anything, how can you give God the opportunity to be God. I would run any time things got hard, my feelings got hurt, I was rejected, low on funds, anything you can name, I did not want to sit with any of those feelings, my first point of action was to figure out how to make sure I was good on my own.

 Fast forward to the 27-year-old I am today, I am no longer running, but sitting with everything that happens and truly trusting God to deliver my every need. I am currently sitting in my current circumstance, and this time I did not run, but rather I focused my attention on the Lord. In doing so I have gained so much peace, my spirit is calm, and I have not been filled with any anxiety.

 I have literally gone without NOTHING that I have needed, and God has been truly taking care of me. Now that doesn’t mean, don’t acknowledge your feelings and emotions, but instead don’t try to come up with a solution on your own. Give God time to show you, who he is and what he can do.

 So, to all my runners, I want to release control and try God out. Do not be hard on yourself, but ease into fully trusting God. It’s easier said than done but, put action behind it every day, and little by little you will begin to see God in a different way, as well as strengthen and encourage your spirit man.

 As always, stay blessed!

SPIRITUAL METAMORPHOSIS

Today was my first day back in the gym in maybe a little over two weeks, and it was hard getting back into it, however, I was proud of myself for getting the strength to go back. But when my life started to shift, unfortunately, everything around me began to backslide. That’s the gym, this blog, my entrepreneurial endeavors, appearance, meditating on the word of God, and a slew of other things. After reflecting, I realized that I have a hard time pushing through when life is throwing curve balls at me unexpectantly. It’s not I don’t want to push through per say, but I began to have a laser beam focus on just trying to keep my head above water, and when I feel I am flowing back at a normal pace I resume doing what I essentially abandoned.

I must be honest and say that I have been dealing with some things, and it hasn’t all been easy. I have been trying to do the best I can, given the circumstances. At times I feel overwhelmed, and other times I feel like my back is against the wall and I cannot find a way out. I literally feel the pressure and that is one of the most uncomfortable things, but I couldn’t explain exactly what I was feeling at first. So, through prayer, getting my focus back, and wise counsel I began to see that I am in fact in the process of being MADE by God.

If you aren’t familiar with the word METAMORPHOSIS, it is a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. Typically, this occurs with insects and amphibians, for example, a butterfly. The butterfly goes through a complete metamorphosis experience that happens in 4 stages. The butterfly itself never starts off being this beautiful insect with pretty colors, it starts off being an egg. When that egg is hatched it goes into the larva stage where it’s a worm. The next stage it enters is the pupa, where the worm will cover itself in a casing called a cocoon to protect itself as it develops into an adult, which can last anywhere from weeks to months, and sometimes years. It is in this stage where radical changes in the insect’s appearance and behavior occur. But catch this, while in this stage, they are most vulnerable to predators and other hazards, so while they lie still to complete their development, the cocoon helps to ensure that it reaches full adulthood unharmed. The last stage it goes through is the emerging process, coming out as a full adult.

What am I trying to say? I am learning how to sit still in uncomfortable times and flow with the developmental process of being made, while keeping my commitment to doing everything that God needs me to do right now in this season, for me to get to the next phase of my life. If I continue to hold on and stay focused on him, I will see every promise that he has for my life.