SIT WITH IT

I was driving the other day and had a reflective moment that allowed me to look at my circumstances in the past and see how I reacted to them, compared to now. In the past, any time a problem arose, I would run and try to to fix whatever problem I had instead of allowing God to help me. For example, there was a time I was looking for an apartment after college, and I literally did not know how I was going to afford rent on my own. At the time I knew I wasn’t making enough with one job, so instead of trusting that God would provide, I went ahead of him and got a second job so I would feel secure. Little did I know that I would still end up with only having one job.

 Over the years, I learned two valuable lessons. One being I was putting my faith into my job for security and income instead of trusting that God is the ultimate provider. Two, if you never learn how to sit in anything, how can you give God the opportunity to be God. I would run any time things got hard, my feelings got hurt, I was rejected, low on funds, anything you can name, I did not want to sit with any of those feelings, my first point of action was to figure out how to make sure I was good on my own.

 Fast forward to the 27-year-old I am today, I am no longer running, but sitting with everything that happens and truly trusting God to deliver my every need. I am currently sitting in my current circumstance, and this time I did not run, but rather I focused my attention on the Lord. In doing so I have gained so much peace, my spirit is calm, and I have not been filled with any anxiety.

 I have literally gone without NOTHING that I have needed, and God has been truly taking care of me. Now that doesn’t mean, don’t acknowledge your feelings and emotions, but instead don’t try to come up with a solution on your own. Give God time to show you, who he is and what he can do.

 So, to all my runners, I want to release control and try God out. Do not be hard on yourself, but ease into fully trusting God. It’s easier said than done but, put action behind it every day, and little by little you will begin to see God in a different way, as well as strengthen and encourage your spirit man.

 As always, stay blessed!

HUMAN NATURE

Humans feel a multitude of emotions such as sadness, happiness, fear, anger, and they are by far very powerful forces. However, growing up in the church as a child, I never heard anyone talk about emotions that we experience on an everyday basis, or furthermore that we can sit with our feelings and be transparent with God about every emotion and feeling.

 As an adult, I have come to realize that every human emotion I feel, is perfectly normal and I do not have to sugar coat them or hide them. We all have things we do to that aid in us being able to cope when life gets a little hard and one of my coping mechanisms is crying. Crying for me allows me to release pinned up emotions without having to even open my mouth, but it also aids in healing because the tears are being released.

 The other day, I found myself saying I’m tired of crying, but I was reminded in John 11:35 that “Jesus wept”. That scripture is the shortest verse in the bible, and it offered me so much comfort. Often, we feel like no one truly understands what we are going through but there is someone who does and that is Jesus, and he feels what we feel because he felt it to. There is nothing under the sun that we will experience that He himself hasn’t experienced first.

 The Lord created his son Jesus Christ in human form to live among the people, so in doing so that allowed him to experience every human emotion you can imagine. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, angry, sad, whatever it may be, take rest in knowing that God truly does understand. When you cry, He cries as well, and he collects every tear. You do not have to rely on yourself or feel bad about what you feel in this lifetime, and God encourages us to be open and lay those emotions at his feet.

 It's good to know and fully understand that I am not alone in anything that I do. He truly understands. Take the limits off, and be your authentic self with him, you do not have to hide the ugly parts or appear to have everything together.

 The next time you find yourself feeling like no one understands, look towards heaven, and know there is a God who understands more thank you think.

 XOXO

SPIRITUAL METAMORPHOSIS

Today was my first day back in the gym in maybe a little over two weeks, and it was hard getting back into it, however, I was proud of myself for getting the strength to go back. But when my life started to shift, unfortunately, everything around me began to backslide. That’s the gym, this blog, my entrepreneurial endeavors, appearance, meditating on the word of God, and a slew of other things. After reflecting, I realized that I have a hard time pushing through when life is throwing curve balls at me unexpectantly. It’s not I don’t want to push through per say, but I began to have a laser beam focus on just trying to keep my head above water, and when I feel I am flowing back at a normal pace I resume doing what I essentially abandoned.

I must be honest and say that I have been dealing with some things, and it hasn’t all been easy. I have been trying to do the best I can, given the circumstances. At times I feel overwhelmed, and other times I feel like my back is against the wall and I cannot find a way out. I literally feel the pressure and that is one of the most uncomfortable things, but I couldn’t explain exactly what I was feeling at first. So, through prayer, getting my focus back, and wise counsel I began to see that I am in fact in the process of being MADE by God.

If you aren’t familiar with the word METAMORPHOSIS, it is a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. Typically, this occurs with insects and amphibians, for example, a butterfly. The butterfly goes through a complete metamorphosis experience that happens in 4 stages. The butterfly itself never starts off being this beautiful insect with pretty colors, it starts off being an egg. When that egg is hatched it goes into the larva stage where it’s a worm. The next stage it enters is the pupa, where the worm will cover itself in a casing called a cocoon to protect itself as it develops into an adult, which can last anywhere from weeks to months, and sometimes years. It is in this stage where radical changes in the insect’s appearance and behavior occur. But catch this, while in this stage, they are most vulnerable to predators and other hazards, so while they lie still to complete their development, the cocoon helps to ensure that it reaches full adulthood unharmed. The last stage it goes through is the emerging process, coming out as a full adult.

What am I trying to say? I am learning how to sit still in uncomfortable times and flow with the developmental process of being made, while keeping my commitment to doing everything that God needs me to do right now in this season, for me to get to the next phase of my life. If I continue to hold on and stay focused on him, I will see every promise that he has for my life.

YOUR WEAKNESS, GOD’S STRENGTH

Recently I felt led to read the book of Judges, and in doing so I was looking for Gideon’s story specifically. Many of you may not know who Gideon was, but he would be in the “Faith Hall of Fame” if there was one, and I highly encourage you all to read up on him.

 In reading about Gideon, I was able to take away 5 pointers which I believe will help every believer especially in this new year.

1.   The mission does not change with God. Quick back story, Gideon started off with 32,000 soldiers and God reduced them down to 300. The goal was to have the battle and win the battle however the method of the victory changed, and God was orchestrating everything the entire time.

2.   God sometimes does BIG things in an unbelievable way. Let me break this down a bit further; Gideon was supposed to have a victory of conquer with only 300 men, and if you look at that from the natural eye, it’s absurd and cannot be done. But what cannot be done by man can be done by God. This was something only God could do and get the glory from.

3.   The battle is the Lord’s and his alone. We get caught up looking at what’s in front of us and we began to try to put things together to solve or fix what has already been taken care of by God. God was with Gideon every step of the way, gave him a plan of action, allowed him to be encouraged during the process, and promised to deliver Israel. Everything he said he would do, he did.

4.   God always accomplishes his plans. God is in absolute control of every circumstance and situation we will ever face. He is the author and finisher, and when he says something will be done, IT WILL BE DONE, and he is a faithful promise keeper.

5.   God wants us to walk in faith as leaders. Modeling trust in God through difficult situations is not easy, however the mission still doesn’t change.

Recognize your WEAKENESS as an opportunity for God to unlock his full strength in your life.

DOES SELF SABOTAGE RING A BELL

I have a feeling that this is going to set some of you all free!

 Self- sabotage is when people do or don’t do things that block them from success, accomplishing goals, receiving healthy relationships, not walking fully into what God is leading you to because you do not feel worth it, and the list can go on.

 I have self-sabotaged so many different things in my life and second-guessed opportunities because either I felt like I wasn’t worthy or I just didn’t do what was necessary to maintain them, or even push myself to get to the next level. I can say that I often found myself once again comparing myself to another individual who had more accolades than I did, or more education when it came to certain jobs, and I would be in my head subconsciously talking myself out of a good thing. To be even more specific a GOD thing. I would ask multiple questions for extra confirmation when it was certain God sent me into a specific place.

 Another example I can give you, is going after the dreams and ideas God placed in my heart to execute. I would spend time brainstorming and drawing out ideas but when it came time to execute them, I would start and stop within a few days. Back then I didn’t know why I would fall into the same pattern, but after reflecting I came to the realization that I feared myself. I was fearful because I knew it would require me to get serious and to get to the next level I was going to have to work hard and push myself. It’s not to say that I wasn’t willing to do the work, but it would be something that was new for me and would have to be done in a new and different way.

 Over the years I have learned to lean into all of who I am as a woman of faith. That’s not to say I am perfect and have everything figured out because I absolutely do not. But I am learning to really trust who God created me to be and the opportunities he blesses me with. Because if he has led me to it and presented it in front of me, I have everything I need already on the inside of me, he trusts me, and he knows I will knock it out the ballpark.

 Consider me as your sister, cheerleader, and encourager right now. It’s time to get out of your own way and walk into these spaces knowing YOU belong there without a shadow of a doubt. Trust yourself and trust what God is showing and doing in your life. We can be our own worst enemies, and the longer you continue to self-sabotage you will always be in your own way!

DOWN IN THE DUMPS

I had another post written for you all but being over the past few days I’ve been feeling a little discouraged, I thought I’d share my own moment with you all, so you know you’re not alone.

 I was working one evening and felt a wave of different emotions come over me, the general feeling was one of discouragement because I began to feel like I was not doing enough, or I’m not where I want to be in life at this very moment. The thoughts in my head became louder than what I know to be true, so it was a very conflicting moment for me.

 I began to discredit all the work I’ve done this far and the accomplishments I have been able to achieve. My mind was literally in a battlefield, and I had to come against every negative thought with truth that I know about myself. One thing I am learning in this “birthing” season is that what I am birthing will look different compared to the next person, and that is not a bad thing.

 One individual may be birthing businesses, while you on the other hand are birthing the woman inside of you or the man inside of you. You may be birthing patience, consistency, or whatever is specific to you. But just because your birthing looks different, does not mean you aren’t still birthing or evolving. Once I was able to realize that my mind began to shift, and I was able to look at all the things that I am doing right now, that are literally propelling me into the next version of myself.

 I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I cannot miss this season because it’s giving me everything, I will need for the next level approaching. I also had to remind myself that, what we see portrayed is almost never an accurate depiction of reality. We see the feel-good moments, and glitz and glam, but we don’t see the behind-the-scenes work of another person’s life. So, while I’m second guessing my current destination and comparing myself to another, I must remember that my journey is specific to me, and God trusts me with it. I may not be where I want to be, but I am still making daily progress in going after those desires and dreams.

 So, if you’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed or discouraged, I’m here to tell you to keep going. I know you may not feel like you are not where you are supposed to be, but trust that God is still moving on your behalf, and all these steps you are taking is needed. We cannot afford to miss any steps; your life depends on it.

 Hold your head up high because you are going to WIN!

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR

It’s been a minute but welcome back to Chasing After Zion!! I’ve been on a slight hiatus and while being on that, I had some time to reflect on some things that have occurred in my life. One of thing I’ve been able to reflect on is the prayers I have prayed and the questions I have found myself asking God.

I noticed that while growing up in the church, no one ever gave me a warning on being careful what I prayed and asked God for, and what to do when God starts to answer those prayers. But in my answered prayers I figured it out and I want to share with you all.

For starters, don’t pray big if you do not want God to move in a big way. Because as soon as you open your mouth you better believe he’s going to stir up things in your life. For example, I asked God to help me grow into having a “crazy faith” and then BOOM! When I said that prayer, I was not ready for the things to come that would push me into having to exercise my faith in a crazy way. I know you’re probably thinking in what way Alisa, well I’ll tell you; my car was stolen. I had been praying that prayer to God about increasing my faith for a while but right before my car was stolen, I had been praying about it more fervently.

Obviously in the moment of finding out my car had been stolen, I had so many emotions but after, I was able to quiet my mind and spirit and I began to say okay God, I trust you, and if you allowed this to happen, I know you knew that I would get through it and trust you. My heart posture after became one of thanksgiving and worship because it could’ve been worse but more importantly, I was at peace because I truly believed the words, I said out loud to him and I reminded myself of all the other times he’s kept me and delivered.

I say all of that to say, I believe God wants all of us to see him in bigger ways than what would be considered normal for us. He has so much he wants to show us and do in us and through us, but we must operate from a place of FAITH. If you truly trust him like you say you do, be prepared to stand on that, and allow him to show you just who He is.